Some of the most compelling stories we hear are from people who have changed the story they were told they would live, and decided to live a story they created for themselves.

Last week I hosted the Yes! Group in Nottingham. One of the speakers was a very charismatic chap called Skip. As a kid, Skip was a fantastic gymnast, but gave up in his teens due to family breakdown. He returned to it while at university when the pull to be a gymnast got so strong he couldn’t ignore it anymore. He committed himself to being the best gymnast he could be and subsequently, with a world class coach to support him, he became British Champion for mixed pairs and tumbling. Not long after achieving this he broke his back while training. He was told he would never walk again. End of story.

Except it wasn’t the end of his story because he refused to believe that prognosis. He told himself a story about not just walking again but regaining his title as British Champion – and that is exactly what he did.

Where would he be now I wonder if he had listened to doctor’s story about what he could achieve? In a wheel chair certainly. And now he is touching and inspiring and changing lives because he didn’t listen and he decided to create another story.

And he’s not the only one – have you seen the amazing video that’s doing the rounds on FaceBook of Arthur the gulf war veteran who’s got his life back and changed his story through yoga, after having been written off?

You see we live with these subtle and subliminal stories all our lives – some are stories told to us directly by parents, teachers, peers, colleagues; stories born out of fear or scarcity thinking or just because they don’t want to get our hopes up. Sometimes these people in our lives don’t even realise the stories they are telling or the stories we are hearing and subsequently living.

So I invite you to listen to your own stories this week; I’m having a good listen to mine! And if they are stories that are holding you back, what might you do about changing them?

And today was a real example of that for me. Over the last couple of weeks with the constant rain, another cold and a to-do list that wasn’t getting done, I was getting cabin fever. Sick of getting soaked every time I ventured out the door, fed up of the mud and fed up of constantly washing wet muddy towels as the poor dogs needed a good rub down after every walk. I felt my grumpiness growing. My soul kept nudging me to take a rest, my mind kept pushing me on to get things done. I didn’t rest and I didn’t achieve much either, except a feeling of resentment.

Today I listened. The sun shone. My soul said go out in the garden, get your hands in the earth, ground yourself. So I did. I went with my flow. I had a fabulously productive day. I weeded, I planted and I salvaged my poor waterlogged blueberry bushes from their barrel. My body is knackered and aches and feels better for it, and my soul is rested and at peace. One of the most beautiful moments was standing under the cherry tree listening to the humming of the bees as they supped on the nectar in the blossom.

Tomorrow I can tackle that to-do-list with much greater fervour and I’ll be taking more note of when I am in MY flow and can get things done, and when MY flow says enough, rest, read, whatever.

You will know when you are ignoring your flow because you will feel angry or frustrated or resentful. How about we all have a week when we notice and go with our own flow rather than fight against it? (And if you think your job or circumstance prevents you – challenge yourself and get creative, how could you go with your own flow?)

Here’s that cherry blossom to inspire you:

So have a listen, and do share your stories and perspectives. You never know who will take comfort or inspiration from your story and experiences.

Fanny Blake has been involved in publishing all her life but only found the courage to write her own novels when a significant birthday loomed and it became now or never! Her second novel Women of a Dangerous Age officially launches this week. If you like a good read about women, their friendships and relationships with men and each other, then you will love this book. I read it virtually in one sitting on a rainy day and was interested to observe how both her lead characters, Lou and Ali, find their own voices and true identity through their relationship with each other, even though a startling revelation threatens their friendship. I did find it a little unnerving that Ali could so easily have been me – in fact there was so much in common, I wondered if Fanny had been channeling some parts of my life! I think most readers will find they have something in common with Fanny’s leading ladies.

Join Fanny’s FB page here

Buy the book

Megan has always been scribbling stories but only took to writing novels when she moved to Nottingham. Her writing often revolves around families and secrets, exploring the darker side of human nature and human experiences. The Lives of Ghosts is her third novel and it’s a story of betrayal, loss and how the ghosts of our past can get stuck all to firmly in our future if not put to rest. Since I am half way through Lives of Ghosts and don’t want to give the game away I’m going to share a review from writer Caroline Smailes: ‘Stunning, absolutely stunning, this chilling tale is woven with sparingly eloquent prose. It is fearless, it is believable, it is captivating. I am left with an ache. I understand human suffering just that little bit more.’

Read Megan’s blog here and for more information about WeatherVane Press visit www.weathervanepress.co.uk

Buy the book

Enjoy the interviews!

Here’s mine.

Young Tina (Tot) , aged 5

Dear Tot

Since you are stroking one of Flash’s pups in this photo you might like to know that dogs have been a huge feature of your life  – Flash, Trixie, Tigger and Lady, George, Maisie and Jock. They have been (and still are) among your best friends, your muses and inspirations and through them and horses (yes you did become a pony-mad child and then a horse-mad adult) you learned to connect with the natural world at deep and spiritual level. Your love of the outdoors and those hours spent on the horsy tree have stayed with you all through your life and provided both a safe haven in times of despair and place to express your joy and excitement at being alive. You have certainly felt closest to this entity we call God when you are out in the middle of a field with the horses and woofers. You’ll get your childhood dream for a horse in your 30′s by the way – and then you’ll acquire two!

You will suffer some heart-wrenching and soul searching times in your life, but you aren’t and never will be alone. Such suffering seems to be a part of the rich tapestry of life, but you will always be ok. You are truly and deeply loved and always will be. Remember this when you feel at your lowest.

You will always be half an hour late for just about everything. This is because you are always trying to cram in too many things to the time available. You will save yourself much anguish (and worry and wroth from Dad) if you learn to let go of trying to do everything and just do the most important things in that moment. You really try to squeeze the pips out of life, but sometimes it is really, really enough to just enjoy the juice and leave the pips still in the orange.

You will have some amazing opportunities to travel and see the world. While animals like lions and cheetahs, elephants, rhinos and giraffes are pictures in books to you now, you will see them – up close on the plains of the Masai Mara in Kenya and from the air in a hot air balloon. Yes you will go up in the sky with a balloon just like Pooh Bear (except you’ll be in a big basket with several other people). You’ll also see kangaroos in Australia and you’ll fly in a balloon there too.  I could write a book for you on all the wonderful things you get to do.

Actually you get to write books too. You are writing your seventh book as I write this.

There are three things I’d like to offer as advice from your Big Self:

1. You are blessed with both confidence and capability to stand up in front of an audience and share your light. Keep it shining, it will be a beacon for those who don’t have your confidence. You’ll be on radio and TV as well as talking to groups of all shapes and sizes and you’ll love it. As you shine your light, you’ll encourage, inspire and enable others to shine their light too. It’s so important that we all shine our light out into the world. Our light is the sunlight on a cloudy day. Sadly many people will feel that their light has dimmed or worse, gone out. You can help them find their light and shine it. That’s your purpose.

2. Don’t colour your hair. It is beautiful just as it is and needs no enhancement. Oh and don’t get those perms either. Your hair is loveliest when straight and natural, and you’ll wish you hadn’t messed with it. As your hair goes grey it will be just as beautiful as when it was black so never think you should cover it up. Beauty comes from within, not from a bottle of hair dye.

3. Don’t worry about men or money. Both will sort themselves out and find you when you least expect it but when you are ready for them to take their rightful place in your life. You just get on with being yourself, expressing yourself and shining your light so that when your prince comes along he can recognise you (he does and he’s very lovely, you just kissed a few frogs first but heh, that’s life!).

And by the way – love the coat! You always will have a good eye for a good coat. In fact there are several awesome coats you will own but I’ll let you discover those for yourself.

with all my love, always

Tina xxx

It seems every month the ladies have a competition based on the speaker’s subject and it’s the speakers’ honour to judge it. SO my task was to judge a plethora of poetry and prose on the subject of why women do or do not listen to the radio. They were so fabulous I had to share them – just click on the links below to read the three winning pieces.

Jane’s WI radio piece

Why Women Listen to the Radio Stubton WI

I usually throw you out a challenge or something to ponder on a Monday, but this week just enjoy the hard work of the ladies of Stubton and District WI!

In the podcast I refer to a story I wrote recently – it was emotional but in a fun way. It was all to do with the frustrations and joys of finding my man. Read on and have a chuckle.

http://10daybookclub.wordpress.com/2012/04/11/how-not-to-find-your-man/

Jesus Christ Superstar is a story of betrayal, yes, but also of choices and decisions, rollercoaster emotions and high stakes. It allows the cast to evoke and release a deep well of emotions and demands that they do so to move the audience with them.  When I went to watch the production last year it was awesome and emotional. Ben, Andy and Julia didn’t just play those roles – they were them.

There were two reasons to resurrect (excuse the pun) this interview for this week – firstly because it is Easter time, and whether you mark it as a religious festival or just eat chocolate eggs brought by the Easter Bunny, you know that Easter is a celebration of the resurrection of Christ and the telling of one of the most powerful stories we share.  The story of the resurrection I think also reminds us that this is a time of rebirth for us all – after coming out of the winter hibernation everything takes on a sense of newness in spring, whether that is the emergence of perennials in the garden, the germinating of new seeds or our own sense of revitalisation with longer daylight hours and warmer temperatures.

The second reason is because high stakes and high emotion (as portrayed by the musical) leads to a compelling story. When there is a lot at stake your listeners have a reason to care what happens. Strong emotions are universal – we all feel them even if we haven’t experienced the same events that trigger them. And this is my focus for the Your Voice podcast for this week. How to bring high emotion or high stakes into your story.

So get a cuppa and have a listen to Jesus, Judas and Mary talking about their questions, decisions and emotions. It might just give you a new perspective on an old story or a new perspective on your own.

Tomorrow evening I am addressing the Stubton Women’s Institute meeting and I needed to think about how I am going to structure my talk. I’ve long since learnt that if I sit at the computer or stare at a piece of blank paper when I’m doing these things all that happens is I wander into the biscuit tin for inspiration and end up eating all the biscuits.

A far better method I have discovered (and is indeed backed up by oodles of scientific studies) is to do something physical because while the left brain is occupied with the task in hand, the right brain is free to roam and find its inspiration. So in an hour’s worth of digging, I had the structure for my talk and the subject for today’s Monday Moment. And the biscuit? Well I had one, but at least I’d burned some energy off first and I didn’t eat the whole tin!

Now I’m not suggesting you should go get some horse poo and start digging up your garden, unless you want to. Any activity that occupies the body and lets the mind free to wander is good enough, even a walk round the block. So maybe this week, when you need that spark of inspiration, get up and do something – even if it means excusing yourself from the office for an hour. Just how much more productive and inspired could you be?

Have a great week!

If you have a question you would like me to answer then email me tina@tinabettison.com and I’ll do my best to include it in a future Your Voice podcast.